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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?